I have no video. All I have is my story.
At 18 years old while I was still in high school I got my girlfriend pregnant and ended up getting married just 3 months shy of graduating. My family didn't go to church but she was Catholic. We went to her church to ask the priest to marry us. He said he wouldn't do it because we were just going to get divorced anyway. I was furious. God was supposed to be love and forgiveness and I felt like this priest was withholding that from us.
A few years later I heard that priest got cancer and died and I remember taking a measure of satisfaction in that. He would get to meet God and have to face him for what he did to me and no doubt others. As the years went by we'd go to Catholic mass occasionally on holidays but never on a regular basis. I didn't understand why sprinkling water on my head would send me to heaven. I didn't understand how confessing my sins to another imperfect priest would matter about how God felt about me. I didn't understand how I could not know for sure before I died if I was going to heaven or not. I distrusted priests and pastors as people who were pious, self righteous, and judging me.
Then at 28 I got divorced. We'd had 2 kids and things were pretty good for me or so I thought. My wife was having an affair and then I discovered she'd had multiple affairs over the previous 10 years. I was no saint either. I was a binge drinker since age 14. I had physically been rough with her a couple times during heated arguments. Even so, I was absolutely devastated. I was afraid for my relationship with my kids. I felt like a complete failure.
At that point I felt like I wanted to find a church and raise my kids up with better values when really it was me who needed better values. I would go into church with my kids and I would cry. I felt alone and lost. Here I am a big 6' 2" 230lbs grown man and I'm crying. I felt the weight of the things on my shoulders like I'd never felt before.
I then met my second wife and she attended church on a regular basis but I think even she would admit at that time she was an immature Christian. We moved into together because I felt like I didn't want to get married again until I was completely sure I wouldn't go through another divorce. We decided to get married and we were starting to attend a church regularly. Sunday's were tough for me. I really liked going but when the pastor would ask people if they wanted to give their life to Jesus it would just overwhelm me. I fought it hard because I didn't want to give up my lifestyle. I didn't want to stop living together, I didn't want to stop binge drinking, I didn't want to forgive other people who had wronged me, I didn't want to lose my friends. I didn't want to be weak and weird.
On Father's Day at the age of 30 I could no longer ignore God. When the pastor gave the invitation to accept Jesus, with eve
ryone's head bowed, I raised my hand. It was like the weight of all my problems had been lifted and when we got into the car I sobbed. God had met me right there in the middle of my sin and accepted me. He didn't wait for me to clean myself up or become 'good'. He did it because he loved me for me. He wiped my slate clean because his son, Jesus, had already paid the penalty for me breaking his laws. All I had to do was accept the sacrifice made for me on the cross. My bitterness was gone, my heart had changed. No sprinkling of water on my head, no asking a priest to hear my confession. Just going straight to Jesus.
Fast forward a couple years down the road. I started my own business and had success professionally. I had clients and contracts across the country and I'd realized my childhood dream of owning my own business and making good money. But I'd put God on the backburner because look at how good I was. My wife was pregnant and I was expecting my first child with her and my third child between two marriages. I was at a client in Connecticut which was just 35 miles from downtown Manhatten on September 11th. Everyone was sent home after the Twin Towers were hit. I sat there in my hotel room looking out at the smoke of the Twin Towers and I felt empty. I had achieved the success I wanted but it hadn't fulfilled me. I'd put myself first above God and above my marriage. I realized that what I really needed was to get my priorities straight and put God first and all other things would come after that. I had created a lot of pain with my selfishness and it took a couple of years to set things right with my wife and my family. But I turned it all over to Jesus and he did his work in me. My marriage was made whole and I was made whole. I could not have done that without Jesus, he was there for me and he helped me through one of the most painful times in my life. He never turned his back on me like I turned my back on him. Even now when I mess up and put myself first he's right there to pick me back and love me.
It's not about being good enough to please God. God judges based on whether we're guilty or innocent. The good we've done doesn't out weigh the bad. But yet that's exactly how many of us think. That would be like someone committing cold blooded murder but saving three drowning people and getting off because they saved more lives than they took. When we think of ourselves breaking God's laws that's how we think, our good will out weigh our bad but that's not how justice works. We have all broken God's laws and we all deserve to pay the price for breaking those laws. God's price for us rebelling against him is hell.
But the good news is he's done a wonderful thing for us. He's given us a gift and all we have to do is accept that gift. And the gift is Jesus. Jesus is the only one that can pay our price for us because he lived a sinless life. He lived a sinless life but took our punishment anyway by being beaten, spit on, kicked, mocked, flogged, and nailed to a tree to die a slow painful death. He was raised from the dead 3 days later proving he was the Son of God. I'm not guilty anymore because I asked for forgiveness and accepted that gift, not because I've earned it, because I haven't. Jesus has transformed my marriage, my parenting, my relationships, and my entire life. I have peace and contentment in my life like I've never known before. I can give all the evidence in the world but the best evidence I have is my transformed life.
People who know me know I've got my faults. I'm not the model Christian by any means. I pray about those things and ask God to help me every single day. No one has to be perfect before or after they accept Jesus. I'm working on those things though, not because I'm working my way to heaven (my place is already secure), but because I want to please God and be obedient to Him. God is doing a work in me right now and I pray he does a work in you too. I no longer want to live for myself and the things of this world.
My name is Eric Frame and I am second.